8 long months ago, the city of Seoul was a gigantic question mark floating in the barren void just in front of me. I was ready to go and at the same time, never more unsure about what would happen next in my life.

This short musing is to make a proper salute to a city who completely blew away my absent expectations and the wonderful people I met there whose generosities I could never even begin repay. Despite not having any intention of searching for family, I literally fell into the arms of folks who made Seoul feel like not only much more than a place to live, but home – and that’s no small feat.

So, thank you to all my sisters and brothers, friends, and inanimate objects that shaped my world. I’ll be back.

I have come to the conclusion that when it comes to living life on the run move, one becomes so engrossed in the push and pull between Past&Future and the There&AndThere that inevitably the mind loses the capacity to focus on the Here&Now.

At this point, I’ve come to assign this particular affliction the title of Wanderlust, which isn’t exactly a ground breaking discovery, but nonetheless certainly provides a larger context (and thus tangible reassurance that no, I’m not the only one fighting invisible daemons) for my self-induced curiosity about places that I’ve experienced, heard of, or dreamed about.

And, if the only way to enter into the 12-Step Program for Finding Oneself by Actually Finding Oneself is to acknowledge that I’ve got an identifiable and thus treatable condition… well, I’m now at least partially there. Yes, I’m still a bit non-comittal.

It’s actually quite ironic.

I’ve found it so easy to become enveloped in things that have happened and things that might happen (but usually don’t) that I foolishly miss what is right in front of me. The result is that weeks, months, or years down the road I wake up one morning and say, “Wow, wasn’t it a great time that I had when…”, which is the kind of romantic reminiscence more fondly known as nostalgia. Subsequently, the thought creeps into my mind that it might be a good idea to go try and find that kind of amazing experience again but with a new twist, all the while re-enacting the kind of epic fail that can be compared to a batter swinging blindly at a ball which has already hit him square in the face — an embarrassing and totally avoidable situation that is easily prevented by not chomping away on bubble gum while getting lost in day dreams induced by the glare of modern stadium lighting.

Like I said, this isn’t brand new information for the world to consume, but it’s certainly a minor revelation for this lost traveler which has led me to proclaim: I solemnly swear to try to live life Here&Now… and also that I am up to no good.

^.^

continued from part 1

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my foray into the city began with a walk through the city center. a rather uneventful couple of moments, i passed the time by taking photos of sculptures of strange beasts which appeared to be part 4-legged creature and part flying creature. i would be more specific, but to be quite honest, i couldn’t tell you for the life of me what they were supposed to be.

while making my way across a large square, i laughed to myself as i watched two other obvious foreigners playing around. a man was photographing another man who was quite tipsy and jumping to be photographed in mid-air.

one thing that there appears to be no shortage of in any city are trendy bars with uninspiring music. not wishing to be overly cynical, i moseyed past the drunken water holes and sauntered into a small park nestled between two large streets. unfortunately, there wasn’t much to be seen other than a giant fountain and a couple sitting on a bench. my adventure to gävle was starting to seem a bit bland, not exactly what i had in mind.

eventually i made my way to the river that runs by the city. to my surprise i found the quaint image of two people fishing by the side of the river. standing less than 30m apart, they couldn’t have been more oblivious to each other and seemed to be having no luck with their sport.

by this time i was starting to get hungry. because i was late getting out from the apartment before leaving, i wasn’t able to make a proper food run to the grocery store – only picking up a couple sandwiches at pressbyrån (the convenience store) before jumping on the train where i promptly scared both of them down. one of the things that you seem to only be able to find in sweden are vegetarian options at almost every single hot dog stand (korv kiosk), making finding one my next goal for the evening.

in sweden i have gotten used to being basically ignored by people, or at least payed very little attention to, as soon as i start speaking english. but as i ordered my burger i was surprised to be engaged in conversation by the same two very men who i had seen jumping and taking photos in the square earlier.

it turned out that they were brothers from india working as engineers for ericsson on a yearly training trip to gävle. it also turned out that one of the brothers was quite drunk and interested in asking me if i “must have 5 girlfriends back in america” and preaching about the negative energy one acquires if not having sex. ah yes, and let me not forget his less than subtle comment about swedish girls and certain qualities of their physique located on the upper part of their torso. to say the least, it was quite awkward if not entirely amusing to watch the other brother attempt to quite his slurring sibling down. his failures ultimately led to a quick and expedient exit and i was again on my way.

my original sleeping plan was to stay in the train station overnight, however, this was quickly thwarted as the gentleman from securitas (the security company) closed the main station almost immediately after my arrival. fortunately, there was a ‘night waiting’ area just adjacent and i figured i would make myself at home there. what i didn’t know was that by ‘night’ the swedes mean until midnight, at which point i was once again removed from the station and told that it would be closed until the morning.

enter plan b. or actually, plan c. i wanted to find a place that was isolated and out of the way, but also decently safe – i did have quite a fat wad of cash hiding in my pocket. to me, the ultimate sleeping spot would be at the end of the center train platform with a pole that i could lock my bags to and put my sleeping bag down in front of. despite the slight chill, mosquitos, passing trains, and fluorescent lights above i somehow managed to pass in and out of consciousness until just after 2am when i was woken by the unmistakable sounds of a couple having sex in the building across the street from the station. i tried to sleep through it, but to no avail. about 45 minutes later, just before 3am, i finally got some peace and quiet as the sun began to rise.

as i started to doze off, i heard a car door close and briefly saw a couple figures out of the corner of my eye. i ignored them, shut my eyes and started to relax just as i felt my feet shoot straight up in the air to the simultaneous greeting of “hej, tjena!” (or, “hey there!”). startled, i opened my eyes to see a pair of police officers standing above me. the funny thing is that i think they were as surprised to see a young asian guy emerge from the sleeping bag as i was to be disturbed from my sleep.

a short discussion ensued with them enquiring about my nationality, what i was doing in gävle, and why i was sleeping outside at the train station. to say the least, they were incredibly kind and understanding and the resulting ride in the back of a swedish police car was not due to me being in any trouble, in fact, they brought me to the station so i could have a warm, safe, mosquito free place to crash. it was actually probably the best thing that could have happened to me, as i was able to catch 4 or so hours of sleep on the chairs in the waiting room before walking out into the morning sun on my way back to the station just 5 minutes down the road.

an hour later i was back on the train home, contemplating the completely bizarre set of events that i had just experienced. from having delivered my guitar across sweden, to meeting two random indian guys with opposite personalities, being kicked out of the train station twice, sleeping outside like a bum and subsequently awakened by the police who turned out to be my saviors, it seemed my hunch that embarking on this wacky trip would result in some type of adventure was certainly a massive understatement.

in the end i realized, the more you roll the dice, the higher the chances you’ll end up with something spectacular. it also increases the likely hood that you’ll fail completely, which was certainly an alternative that was on the table more than once in my 24 hour whirl-wind tour across sweden. but when you hang yourself out there and find it in you to wait until the very last second before you panic, freak out, or generally start to curse yourself for not being smarter, things can and usually do happen. call me stupid, but i’d do it again.

one of the joys in life which i throughly embrace is the opportunity to go on an adventure.

stepping out of my comfort zone and into the unknown brings a kind of thrill to me that few other things can – when nothing is planned and everything is up to the random lottery that life deals, i find excitement in the the ability to rely solely on instinctual reaction to my environment.

—

as part of my plan for moving to korea, i have been selling a number of my possessions to provide me with a small startup fund for when i land in seoul. perhaps my most cherished item is a rickenbacker 360 guitar that i bought during in my senior year of high school when i still rocked ‘n rolled. you might be surprised to learn that in my previous life before i was a designer, i was a guitar thrasher and lived for the experience of playing live in front of a crowd.

having spent the last half-decade virtually un-touched as i went to college, i saw it fit to say goodbye to my guitar as the primary source of cash for my big move. the only problem was that now is not a particularly good time to be selling valuable items, the market is much more favorable to buyers than sellers.

when i asked a music store in göteborg what they’d give me for it, the answer was quite underwhelming at almost 20% less than i was willing to let it go for. starting to panic, and wonder how i was going to make my way to korea, i was excited when someone contacted me via a web ad i placed expressing interest. the down side? he was located on the other coast of sweden with plans to come to göteborg a couple weeks after i would leave.

things weren’t exactly looking great. but then i had an idea, what if i took the guitar and delivered it in person – white glove service? would he pay for part of my trip? if so, it would be worth it to get the extra bones in my pocket. somewhat surprisingly, he agreed and by the end of the day i had booked a last minute ticket to gävle for the next afternoon.

the catch was that i hadn’t yet bought a return ticket. you can purchase discounted “last minute” tickets from the swedish train company up to 24 hours in advance of its departure, but i would have to wait and hope that i could get a cheap ticket back in a reasonable amount of time. after all, preparing to move around the world doesn’t leave much extra time for dilly-dallying around.

throwing caution to the wind, the next day i hopped on a train at 1500 to ride 6 hours across sweden despite not having any place to stay. just in case, i brought my sleeping bag.

arriving as the sky began to slowly dim, i met erik at the station, made short conversation and exchanged guitar for cash – all in about 15 minutes. by that time, the last trains and buses back to stockholm and göteborg had already left for the day leaving my partially stranded, but far from desperate. fortunately, although the main station was closing as he bought the guitar, the “night waiting” area in the station seemed like it would provide ample comfort for me to get some rest it.

however, i hadn’t come all this way to just plop down for the night. i wanted to see a piece of another swedish city, a final glance into yet another corner of the country i had been living in for nearly a year. it was my last hurrah and as i set out from the relative comfort of the station to explore more of the unknown, i had no idea what odd events were soon to take place.

—

continued in part 2

better known for meatballs and ikea (or even better, meatballs at ikea!), sweden has been my home away from proverbial home for the past 11 months. throughout my time here i have made many great friends, and experienced life as never before. from soaking in sun at summer houses on the east coast, to the dead of winter where the light is sucked out of the sky here in the rain plagued landscape of västragotlands’ göteborg. and back again to seemingly never ending sunsets and a new appreciation for the concept of seasons.

the journey that has transpired along the way has been a memorable one, to say the least. but my time has now come and gone and it is time to write a fitting ending for this milestone in life.

—

i’m a believer in the idea that the more we bend, the less likely we are to break. life rewards the ability to roll with the punches, and unlike our bodies, as each year passes our minds become more flexible and open to the idea of change as inevitable.

last month the clouds of change started rolling in. they came in different shapes and sizes than before, but they were unmistakable. faced with a choice of attempting to hold out in sweden or experience something else, i choose to go with the flow and allow myself the freedom to move on.

for several years now, i have been gravitating towards korea. both as a reconnection with my motherland and as preparation for the rest of my life. it is something that i have literally dreamt about. it didn’t used to keep me up at night. but it does now as i ready myself for a journey that spans much more than the 9 hours and 7077km of atmosphere that i will pass through while encapsulated in a speeding bullet in the sky.

—

on wednesday, july 21 i will say hej då (good bye) to göteborg. behind me i will leave people, a school, and a city that have been fantastic in every sense of the word, and which other descriptors regretfully fail to add any significant understanding to.

i will make a 36-hour pitstop in helsinki to visit friends, eat food, and shave.

on thursday, july 22, barring any earth-shattering events, i will board a plane to seoul.

and on friday, july 23, i will arrive in the country of my birth for only the second time since leaving. more than have of my life has passed since my previous trip, and when i touch down i feel as if i will be embarking on a sojourn that has been 26 years in the making.

i’m ready.

when we place restrictions on ourselves, interesting things tend to happen.

that’s why i’ve decided that between july 10 and july 17 i will only take photos in b/w with a square crop. ok – so to be more truthful, i’m going to process the photos in b/w and apply a square crop to them before sharing – such is the world of digital.

here’s to 7 days of focusing more on content and composition!

view the photoset on flickr

this morning i’m listening to a podcast from npr called “all songs considered”, a name spinoff from the ubiquitous “all things considered” and something that will hopefully provide me with a continuous stream of new and interesting music. with the latest blip in my sojourn around the world being my departure from sweden to korea (more on that in an upcoming post) i’ve found it funny that this program is featuring music from 3 artists from the 3 cities in which i’ve most recently lived in. (maybe there is something about second cities, after all.)

baltimore / the lower dens
san francisco / sunny & the sunsets
gothenburg / junip (josé gonzalez)

if you’re so inclined (and i certainly encourage you to do so), take an hour out of your regularly scheduled music programming, put on your headphones and get prepared to be refreshed.

“all songs considered” @ npr

we say it, be we may rarely have a chance to experience it; the land of the midnight sun.

but today, i have the fortune of being in a place where i can watch the sunrise before my very eyes at 1:30am in the morning. in fact, it’s more like a ‘sun warm’ than a sunrise, as the pinkish glow never fell below the horizon towards the east. the site is quite beautiful, and as i wait for my time lapse photos to finish up (hopefully quite soon, as i’m super freezing) i thought i’d share this moment with you.

what is actually quite logical, can often seem a bit mind boggling. i know in my head that the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. however, being able to pan the sky and go from a deep resonant blue to a pink to turquoise gradient can leave one a bit dumbfounded at first.

my vantage point is from the top of a hill, next to masthuggskyrkan. it’s not the highest point in göteborg, but i have a wonderful view over the city’s harbor. off in the distance i can see the neon blue glow of the new ‘wheel of gothenburg’, and subtle silhouette of the lipstick building against a dark horizon. the reflection of the buildings in the river (göta alv) is surrounded by the greenish blue tinge of the sky above and the warm street lights almost match the sunrise in color.

when i first arrived here about an hour ago, i was all by myself. since then, a pair of gentleman have taken a seat with cameras and beers in hand just to my right. there is the occasional chatter of birds in the early morning, and every now and then i catch a glimpse of them flying speedily around the trees. in the background there is the constant chatter of seagulls protecting their young – it’s a sound that i’ve become quite accustomed to here, even if i do tend to find it quite annoying. and of course, the less pleasing, but somehow reassuring sounds of cars rumbling up and down the highways all around.

now, 10 minutes after i’ve started to write this post the sky is coming to life. i can describe it as the glow of a slow burning ember unexpectedly reigniting. i clearly see five distinct bands of color: first pink, then yellow, aqua, blue, and the deepness of space above. there are several cloud formations, one coming in from the sea and another more streaky group off to the northeast, bumping up against the invisible ceiling of pressure and flattening out.

the reason i chose to come up to this cold hill in the middle of the night, even after working quite late, is simply because i may never have this opportunity again. i feel like there is something religious, or maybe spiritual is a better term, about being awake and alert to experience the darkest hours of the lightest day of the year. it’s something i’d like to share with those who aren’t here to see it for themselves.

since i’ve been here in sweden, i’ve been introduced to the wonderful world of spotify (http://spotify.com/), a music streaming service which allows you to listen to most songs you want to hear for free (supported by audio ads). it’s been a wonderful ride, but i have to say, their app has left me wishing for a better UI and the ads keep getting more, and more intrusive. now, for a mere 99kr (~ $12/mo) i could banish those ads, but now a new solution has popped up.

i first saw grooveshark (http://grooveshark.com/) last fall, but didn’t pay much attention to it. i was still stuck to my itunes library which contains 30,000+ songs that i almost never listen to. but as my frustrations with spotify have increased and my memory of grooveshark returned, i’ve ended up as a really happy user. in fact, it’s made my week much more productive with it’s banner ad only approach (not annoying audio ads every 5 songs) and ability to easily manage playlists, find artists (many more than spotify offers, including those from asia), find new music via the ‘radio’ feature, and the ability to quickly share with your friends – all they’ll need is flash to tune in.

anyways, my point is that i’m really happy listening to grooveshark, and thought i’d share a bit of the music i’ve been taking in this week. hope you enjoy!

here is a photo of my workspace above in all of its glory. this was during a late night work session, hence the lack of overhead light.

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i’ve noticed recently how unorganized my desk is. not that this is new or surprising to me, as my desks have always been rather disorganized and “ugly”, as far as desks go.

it is quite often that i pass by the desks of my peers and with some slight jealousy, ponder how they are able to keep their spaces so neat. it also happens that even those whose desks are disheveled still manage to create some beautiful form of chaos in the space which they create.

although the semester is nearly over, i’m putting desk cleaning on my list of things to do. i’ll be back with a photo once i’ve taken care of business.

the first big project i worked on at albertson design was slow food nation, a gathering for the american slow food movement during the summer of 2009 in san francisco. our hands (or mouses) touched every piece of visual communication that was part of the event, from signage to program guides, advertising, invitations to special events, merchandise – everything.

last year our work was featured in communication arts’ 50th design annual for public service and today i finally found a copy of the magazine in the hdk library. it was great to know we got the award, but it is exciting to see it printed in person over 5,000 miles away from where it all went down.

so, to david, kirk, and max whom i worked with, congrats (again) – let’s keep getting allupinthat.biz.

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if you’d like to see all the work we did, you can do so here.

my name is jay. four years ago i got on a plane to japan. when i got there i had my life turned upside down. the photo above is of my first meal after landing.

—

basic communication and daily activities were intimidating. i didn’t speak the language. i couldn’t read what food i was buying. i was jet-lagged, but having the time of my life.

my friend ben and i lived in an 18m square apartment together for 4.5 months.

we often rode our bikes past familymart; our closest convenience store, over the bridge and down along the river where the cherry blossoms were blooming in the distance, past the rice fields with the occasional farmer hunched over paying us no attention, through the rolling hills to school.

occasionally we made the 45 minute walk back home as a result of staying out too late down by the ishikawa river while drinking with the other students, witnessing wild stunts such as a guy eating an entire of wasabi paste, or someone jumping into the cold, dirty river water.

most often, though, we made our way under the vines shading the winding alley behind our apartment, past the old man with the one room bicycle shop, down the street and then through another alley behind the pachinko parlor where it wasn’t uncommon to encounter a drunk peeing man, cats, or bees (quite an odd assortment) before spilling out across the street from our local train station by the same name of our town – tondabayashi.

—

this was just the beginning, but putting everything down into words is something i’ve wanted to do ever since i got back, and i hope this will be some kind of reminder to myself to make that wish a reality. every time i try, it always comes out a bit jumbled, missing some things here and there, and generally indecipherable to others, but i really want to find a way to tell this story, at least for myself.

over the past six months i’ve been hard at work on the biggest web project i’ve taken on to date, and today i’m really excited to announce the redesign and relaunch of the swedish (beyond) sustainable design studio, kvarnen studio.

the site has been rebuilt from the ground-up on expression engine, and is a new take for them on how to present their work. from the very start we have reconsidered the purpose of the site, thought about how to get visitors to focus on understanding kvarnen studio’s unique approach to the design process without boring them with oodles of text, and emphasized getting the ‘site’ out of the way to let the work speak for itself.

i’ll provide a more in-depth look at the process and iterations we went through in the next couple of days, but for now i hope you take the chance to look around and see some of their work.

tack, tack – hej då!

the past couple of days i’ve been driven insane by a text rendering problem in firefox when using add-ons.

the problem appeared suddenly, so i wouldn’t be surprised if this is just user error on my part, but it renders my normal text as bold ONLY when viewing the site i am currently developing. you can see the comparison in the image above.

i’ve since just removed all add-ons, but that has left me feeling a bit vulnerable with no web developer, html validator, or firebug. i’m hoping that someone out there in the world will have some sort of suggestion for me, this thing is driving me nuts!